Tuesday, June 7, 2011

it's been 365 days.

it's been kind of quiet on the blog front, huh?

you can even hear the grasshoppers chirp. senior year of college took over for a bit. but here i am again.

so much has happened since March when i last blogged.

my last spring semester is over. one more semester left. (insert freaking out dance here.)

my favorite professor retired. the one that i KNOW God had me there to minister to. that was one of the hardest days i have ever encountered. pouring my life out and having him not want anything to do with Jesus hurt. but oh, how He works in the coolest ways. i look forward to hearing how God will use all of this someday.

my best friend since kindergarten graduated from UGA. growing up is so exciting. and intimidating. and makes me completely rely on the story He is telling.

my application for a missionary position with Assemblies of God was processed. they are looking for placement for me at the current time. i am beyond stoked. knowing every single step of the journey is for His glory. and His fame only.

friends got married. friends got engaged. friends have began to date. it's that season of life.

numba one man in my life, baby Judah, is looking more like a little man every day. he is my favorite.

my mentor is responding to His gracious call in Brazil as i type this. i can hardly wait for her to get home.

and then there is today.

the day that has caused me to miss Peru more than words can express. i read my journal earlier today. on this very day a year ago, i saw my Zaida after 3 years.

she walked in.

i saw her face.

i ran.

she ran.

we hugged.

in an almost like Hallmark movie sequence. perfection.

she is the picture of His love to me. He saw fit for a little girl living on a different continent to be a little part of my story. for Him to use her to rock my world in ways i never dreamed of.

i didn't know her name that day in 2005. and i honestly never imagined that it would turn into my heart being for the helpless and hopeless. He has knit it together so perfectly.

i can't act like i didn't see her. that i didn't see hungry children. that i didn't see grown men begging for a morsel of food on the streets. i can't pretend that the children didn't beg me to pray for them. or that God changed my heart forever.

i will forever be thankful for Peru. and one of my biggest fears is that i won't love another country like i love that place. it is my heart. the children captured it. my heart for missions was molded in that very country, in a musty old hotel room.

365 days ago, i said goodbye to Zaida. i am not sure when i will see her again and that makes my heart ache. but it won't be long. i tend to gravitate to that place. God calls me there. and when He tells me...i am on that plane to see my girl.

i can't live for myself anymore. and God used a little girl to teach me that.