Sometimes when He speaks to me, it just makes sense and I cannot get over it. No matter how many times it happens...I STILL get chill bumps, my heart beats faster, and my stomach feels funny and I think that is exactly the way I should feel when the Lover of my soul speaks to me. Maybe I am just crazy.
There is going to be a point in my life where I know no one, people don't "get" my heart or passions, and people won't understand what I am saying (literally). I might even have to use my mad pictionary skills to get through a language barrier or two AND to find the nearest 7-11.
And I am excited. I am scared but in the coolest way possible. I avoided this for a long time?! If that is possible. It was much easier to think about having the white picket fence, kids in private school, SUV to pick them up from piano lessons life than to really consider the passions instilled in me.
I don't know what the next 10 years hold. Geeze, I don't even know what the next 10 weeks hold. But what I know to be true is that every time I take a step His light is shining on my step. And yes, I wish I could see a few steps in front of me but doesn't that take the joy out of the journey and the trust out of our Daddy?
He's good. He's got it. He is preparing me...in ways I never imagined.
Throwing me into a liberal major. a religion class with atheists. and people that hate my Jesus but want to be my friend. didn't seem like it would EVER be in my journey. but it is and yes, it is the hardest thing I have ever done. I like knowing what they believe though. I like knowing that this might be preparing me for a mission field that is full of darkness. He is my light. and He is lighting up that campus.
The way He puts things together still gets my heart racing and my blood pumping. It doesn't make any sense to me right now, but one day I know it will.
And this week I got an answer to a prayer. One of my greatest blessings is to be able to be His hands and feet. And one of my favorite people downtown as been MIA lately and it had me worried. Part of me wanted to know that he was okay but then I just couldn't help but dream that he could have found a job, found a house, not need me anymore. But I saw him earlier and he didn't need me but I needed that conversation. He knows that God has put him in a valley for a reason and in his drunken stupor he explained the love he has for Him. It was the most beautiful thing.
And tonight, my heart is hopeful. expectant, and anticipating the next few steps.
He is the One who knows me like the back of His hand so how can I not be stoked?!
Please tell me of the ways He is showing up in your life!
1 comment:
Wow. To have a passion like yours, so unadulterated with other responsibilities and/or commitments. Only to our Lord. Wow.
And I applaud your not shrinking from the liberal major and the class full of those with animosity. My aunt recently got her Master's Degree from a secular college and she said those were the hardest classes of all.
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