Friday, February 17, 2012

pumped up kicks.

done with college. no job. waiting for Africa.

as i sit here staring at our dining the packing room of Ivy ....i see 2 huge suitcases packed. that are a testament of faithfulness and willingness.

an email on December 28 changed the course of my life. or at least my life for 2012.

long days waiting on "go" with a quiet restlessness that no one could quite understand.

sitting on pins and needles. waiting for an answer. any answer. the answer i wanted. the answer i didn't want. but ultimately waiting to hear the answer that He wanted.

He has the say so and that is been CLEARLY evident in this adventure.

my house and room are filled with all things Sudan. and people all across the country...actually all across the world have been thinking of, lifting up the country...the country they thought i was going to.

SURPRISE! it wasn't in vain. and i do not regret not one thing that has happened.

has it been tough? oh, yeah.

has it been an emotional roller coaster with a whole lot of feet dangling, heart racing, tear stained face, stomach in my throat drops? oh, most definitely.

but have i learned to trust the one who leading me more than i trust myself? yes.

have i seen His faithfulness cover me like a literal avalanche every single day? yes.

and i have witnessed professors, former classmates, and people in general stand in awe that He has given me the peace and courage to press on in this adventure? yes.

doors have been opened. things are going good. a big package was sent off to Washington DC. plane tickets will be bought this week. and the people closest to me are mostly in denial that the time has come.

but oh, what a joyful time this is.

i have danced around my house more times than i can count. to the answer of no. and the answer of yes.

i am nervous but filled to the brim with anticipation of what He will do.
i am scared but filled with peace knowing He is in control.

He is my constant. and for that simple fact alone, i am grateful.

March 2 is my tentative leave date.

my long skirts, Columbia shirts, bandanas, chacos, TOMS and head scarves are ready. but i will use these next 2 weeks to prepare this heart for the world. literally, the world. His world that He so graciously has given me the chance to love.

i am living out a story that unfortunately very few people understand. do i have family and friends that support me and love me every single step of the way? of course.

but my heart is one that is wild about the world. and the nations. and seeing babies fed and people clothed. in my city. and in my world.

and i just can't sit still.

keep on shining, sweet people. more to come soon!