Tuesday, April 13, 2010

his or mine? and does it really matter?


okay. i don't like to talk about this. because it gets intense. and awkward fast.


BUT...


i have to let this out.



recently, i have been hearing more and more of the women in my life talk about not going to school for this reason: supporting their husbands and being submissive to his desires/God's will for his life. and raising their children to fear God and not care about what the world says.


let's tackle this slowly. and with care.



i understand that not everyone is made for college.

God uses people all the time without one ounce of college. and most days..i wish He would come on down and tell me to quit. the idea of that scares me to death but it would be a beautiful thing.


here's my problem with that: i don't like the idea of changing your passions and goals in life because the person that you are attracted to has completely different passions and goals. i think when its the right person...your hearts will be synced...and His plans for your lives just mesh together. i have seen it happen...a lot. and it is an amazing thing. absolutely amazing.


your hobbies will probably be different. you might like the beach and he might like the mountains. but i know that i know that i know that the important things...will be synced.


i think we should support our husbands FULLY and with compassion. i am just saying that using that as an excuse sometimes just does not cut it.


maybe all of this is radical for the South. but come on. God can use a woman just like He can use a man. and what if the woman is the one in the ministry and not the husband? and what if they are both in the ministry? what if they are both missionaries with completely different job titles? what if they sometimes have to live apart for a few weeks at a time? i think He takes care of all this. and that takes a huge weight off of us.


and the whole raising your kids to fear and obey God. i don't think you have to be a stay at home mom to do that. and i certainly think someone with a college degree can do a fine job of it.


there is a huge piece of my heart that hopes that i can stay home with my kids. and this might be in a mud hut. or airport. or might be some other random location. but this is what i know, wherever we are, God is there. and whatever we are doing, He is watching and listening out for His children. living with a white picket fence, waiting on your husband to get home with his brief-case...is not exactly raising your children to fear God.


i think it takes more courage to go to school. get that degree you probably will never use.


and show your kids that obeying God might be moving away from those you love. and fearing God might be loving Him so much that you cannot stand not to move to that place you really don't even want to visit.


i think when we follow Him completely. obey Him. take Him at His word. and trust the passions He has made our desires in our hearts...the details SO do not matter.


your husband might have to be okay with supporting you too. your kids might not always be the same color. and your family will look at you like you are insane. but the cool thing is...everyone thought Jesus was crazy too.


your thoughts are VERY much needed.



2 comments:

Jenna Lane said...

I agree. Not everyone is made for the same thing. And that's the beauty of it all...He created us all for different purposes.

I don't think that we HAVE to have a college degree to fulfill ourselves. But I do believe it's wise to have a degree. So much happens in the university scene, it's unreal. He can really use you, teach you, and use you, and teach you.

I agree with everything you said. It's His will, not our own. And as good of a father as He is, He would never lead you down a path for fruitlessness.

I love you, Ivy!

Katie said...

i'm with you 100% ivy. i think it's why from about age 18 to 23 i decided i really didn't want to get married. i went to the other extreme. i think i saw what i thought were too many women submitting in an unhealthy unGodly way. i've been blessed recently though to see that what you describe:

" i think when its the right person...your hearts will be synced...and His plans for your lives just mesh together. i have seen it happen...a lot. and it is an amazing thing. absolutely amazing."

is actually possible & i believe what God intends. i think sometimes we just get hung up on that submission part and out of fear of not obeying that command we go to an extreme on the other end that isn't Godly either.

i pray that if God blesses me with a spouse one day, i don't compromise what i believe & the calling God has placed on my heart for him. we'll do ministry as life together or we won't do life together.

but, then, i could get married & realize this is all a very naive way of thinking and God will teach me a hard lesson or two :)