stranded.

i currently am living in the country that makes the ellen show and is in the funny crossword puzzles. djibouti is a country famous for one thing...sounding like your booty.

it's a place plagued by disease. stolen by poverty. and hurt by greediness. and i never want to forget it.

i want to remember what it feels like to walk down the street and feel rocks under my feet. to feel the sweet hands that grab mine and walk with me. to remember the way the dirty, wet kisses feel on my cheeks at least 30 times a day. to remember having to jump over puddles of water that stinks in the worst way possible.

i want to take in everything. and save it. to bottle it up.

the way the incense smells in the street. the way my students look when i teach them a new concept. the way the market looks early in the morning before everyone gets out. the sounds outside by window after the sun goes down.

i never want to get used to it. never. i want it to stay new.

for the rumble of the bas-yar going through town to remain a little sketchy. for the immense amount of goats everywhere to still startle me a little bit. for the smell of food cooking mixed with exhaust fumes to always remind me of this sweet place that i call home.

and the current question on my heart is...will i always feel so stranded? stranded between countries and people that i love so much?

stranded.

wanting the people i love most to experience it all. to see His power in ways that i can't describe with measely words on a computer screen. to see the beautiful people He created. to feel the way the babies tug on your heart. the way you learn that they don't need you as much as you need them. to see the bigger picture. to realize it's not about us. ever. to hear the mix of 4 languages coming together.

stranded.

missing the people at home. but not wanting to even think about leaving. wanting to bring pieces of this place home. preferrably in the human form.

stranded.

seeing the faces of poverty. holding the ones who have no father or mother. feeding those with swollen faces and bellies. touching those with diseases. loving those who are unlovable. blessing those who curse me. and walking with the lonely.


who would have thought living a life without water most of the time and the smell of sewage everywhere would have COMPLETELY captivated me? it reeled me right in.

i was a goner from the very beginning.

it's like a disease. with no cure. it has taken over.

i am in love. the good kind of love. the best kind of love. the kind you don't ever want to live without.

and it will remain like that. inshallah....(if G wills it).